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What draws people to bdsm?
I know the general underlying reasons that people as a group do it, but what specificially drives a person into a submissive or dominant role? Is it purely a sadistic impulse, a desire to cause pain, that would lead one down the dominant road? Does the submissive role draw those who desire structure and control? I'm asking for curiosity's sake, what consenting people do is no concern of mine. Thanks in advance for the answers.
I asked my psychiatrist this question--she being a brilliant young Thai woman, and like myself a Buddhist--and she said dismissively, "Karma." If you don't share any of the core beliefs of BDSM--that "power" and social and moral inequality is the basis of all relationships; that the complex, emotional, responsible Western Self can be an intolerable burden; that humiliating, discomfiting and inflicting pain on another human being is something which is inherently pleasurable--you will learn absolutely nothing by confronting someone who's into BDSM, and saying, "I don't believe a word of it. Prove it." There is, that I can tell, no common ground of understanding between kink and vanilla--It's quite as if we were entirely different species. But one further point: those who are into BDSM not infrequently have guyren, whom they "spank," in heartlessly protracted, sadistic scenarios of mingled terror, suspense, and exquisite torture--with utterly no conscience of the sickening evil they perpetrate, believing it justified as "discipline." In my opinion those who are into BDSM should be prohibited from having guyren, and ought not to be allowed to keep pets.
My gf and I are curious about BDSM, don't know how to start?
No worries, we're both adults. We're both female, too, if that matters.
We've done some very basic experimenting (very rough biting, for example, that leaves black bruises and sometimes draws blood), but we're both pretty clueless as what to do next. I mean, we don't want to like, jump straight to anything extreme, like hanging from our nipples or anything, lol, but do you know what we could do to take the next step? Ideas, or where to turn to for ideas?
Try some light bondage at first
handcuffing each other to the bed and being extra aggressive
you can use hot candle wax and try hair pulling and light spankings... that's just very light stuff to get started... but do whatever you feel is right and don't just jump into anything heavy but have fun :)
BDSM porn is very unethical. Shouldn't we raise a voice?
It may sound puritaniacal and intereference into privacy of consenting couples, but BDSM isn't restricted to spanking and whipping alone. Millions of websites have mushroomed where the brutality and bestiality is unimaginable and may shock many people. They contain most horrifying videos of cigarette buds, bleeding, painful needles, feces and soft and tender little girls being ravaged by sadistic people. Is this supposed to be entertainment?

I want to draw attention to the ethical point of view here. The girls who allow their bodies to be treated in the most despicable of manners, and choose to endure so much pain for a little extra money, do you think they are actually ENJOYING the shoot?

Where does it stop now? what effect does it have on young minds? Why isn't anybody raising their voice against such disturbing videos? Who are the customers? Who would want to buy such BLOODY entertainment?
Entertainment: for some, yes.

Did you ever talk to the persons doing this? There are some amateur videos out there where the session was shot by married couples. And yes the sufferer will ask for it again.

Where do you stop? I think faces of death is just as disturbing, but if there is a market there will be sales. Do you forbid horror movies? Newscasts? Newspapers?

And yes I do but some of this, and you did too researching it. Shame on us!
Do you think BDSM Age-Play is a gateway...?
to more deviant and perhaps unethical perversions of sexuality? I am particularly interested in hearing from those actually in the lifestyle of whatever variety, and the BDSM- ers ie Char, Chanteuse D'Opera, Hala and those others who enjoy submissive sexuality? Where do you draw the line?

Can Age- play lead to Paedophilia? Does it skew ones psychological equilibrium?

Why are there such large communities of people who live this lifestyle without trepidation or sense it is unnatural?

Some women and men only feel capable of expressing their 'erotic natures' when they are a 'little', when they can be vulnerable emotionally. Is this some kind of peculiar freudian manifestation, the development of ones sexuality in guyhood through those psycho sexual stages, or is it something which need to be psychologically treated?
Age-play has nothing to do with pedophilia. When there is the "daddy/daughter" relationship, or other such similar relationship, they are not even thinking along the lines of incest. The use of "daddy" and "daughter" are just titles to express the parameters of the fantasy. The "daddy" is the older, wiser, more mature mentor while the "daughter" is the young, innocent and naive one in need of guidance and discipline. It is FANTASY.

Another form of age play isn't even sexual in nature. It is the baby fantasy, where the adult acts as though they are an infant, needing to be completely taken care of. Some may go so far as breast feeding and actual use of diapers. It's a way of recapturing the time when you were young and helpless. You couldn't express your needs in words, yet somehow, your caregiver was able to interpret and meet those needs. I can imagine there must be such freedom in trusting someone so much that you allow them to care for your every need, including the most basic of needs.
My partner is into BDSM and I am not so I told him to go and find someone else to satisfy those needs?
Do you think that I was wrong to have done that. I have even gone so far s to place an ad for him.

The reason is that despite loving my partner some of his sexual proclivities do absolutely nothing for me and seeing a man acting passively is actually a big turn off for me. I want a man to be a man and tying him up and whipping him is not my idea of fun. We do actually have a good sex life otherwise. I am younger than he is by 19 years. I am 36 and he is 55 but when he starts going on about the whole BDSM thing it gets me down. I already make a lot of concessions sexually but I want to draw a line somewhere.

I don't envisage that it will cause problems [him finding a casual partner for this. Someone has already contacted me a man who is suggesting "his wife" who he says is "eager" to get involved"..
What do you think. I feel if I dont find someone, I'll end up doing it and being very unhappy as a consequence.
So, by BDSM, you mean he wants to be helpless. You are right, this is the opposite of how our normal drives work - the man usually loves to be the leader and in full control, the woman enjoys being submissive and being taken care of. You are apparently very confident that your relationship can survive this. Can you participate in some level? Can you watch? Will he become so glued in to this kind of thing that he wants that over you? This is a tough call. I think so long as you discuss everything with your man, that it might be worth trying, but it all seems fraught with danger, too, doesn't it? Whew. Good luck.
STD's Spread Through BDSM, Please Help Me!!?
Hi, I recently had a session with a 'Mistress'. It was the first time I explored this side of my sexuality, and the last. She didn't draw any blood from me, but she was whipping me with a paddle. She also put it in my mouth for about 5 seconds. I didn't get any open wounds from the session. She also put the paddle down my pants for about 8 seconds and it touched my penal area. Is there a chance of an STD spreading? If so, which ones could be transmitted this way? She put clothes pegs on my nipples and candle wax on my body also.

Please help me, I'm only 18 and very worried.

Please don't try and scare me, I am really panicking right now, I have learnt from my mistake.

I licked her boot in the session. If the boot or paddle had been cummed/spunked on in her previous session, could I contract and STD?

Hi, I recently had a session with a 'Mistress'. It was the first time I explored this side of my sexuality, and the last. She didn't draw any blood from me through, but she was whipping me with a paddle. She also put it in my mouth for about 5 seconds. I didn't get any open wounds from the session. She also put the paddle down my pants for about 8 seconds and it touched my penal area. Is there a chance of an STD spreading? If so, which ones could be transmitted this way? She put clothes pegs on my nipples and candle wax on my body also.

Please help me, I'm only 18 and very worried.

Please don't try and scare me, I am really panicking right now, I have learnt from my mistake.

I licked her boot in the session. If the boot or paddle had been cummed/spunked on in her previous session, could I contract and STD?
You are fine. There is a VERY small chance of contact STDs like herpes, crabs, chlamydia..., but if she was a pro, she is keeping everything clean. Since you didn't have sex, I am guessing she was a pro.
Does anyone here have a BDSM Master?
I want to give back to Master a little but I don't quite know how.
Master is 5446.9 miles away in England, while I'm in America at the moment, so I can't cook something nice for Master or dress up in something for when He comes home or wakes up, but I can draw and paint, I have a new camera that takes video although only around 30 seconds of it, and I can be a little creative if need be.

Can anyone, dom/sub or neither, give me a few tips on something I could do for my wonderful Master? He's been so patient with me and I want to pay Him back a little.
So show him you are thinking about him. Write him a story about what will happen next time you're together. Video yourself wearing sexy clothing around talking about how much you need him
STD's Spread Through Bondage/BDSM, PLEASE HELP ME!!?
Hi, I recently had a session with a 'Mistress'. It was the first time I explored this side of my sexuality, and the last. She didn't draw any blood from me through, but she was whipping me with a paddle. She also put in my mouth for about 5 seconds. I didn't get any open wounds from the session. She also put the paddle down my pants for about 8 seconds and it touched my penal area, but again, I didn't exchange bodily fluids and the paddle was dry. Is there a chance of an STD spreading? If so, which ones?

Please help me, I'm only 18 and very worried.

Please don't try and scare me, I am really panicking right now, I have learnt from my mistake.

James
The only thing you are likely to have is a drained bank account.
Looking for information on pagan blood rituals ?
this ritual would involve the exchange of blood between two people (a man and a woman). this would be more of a sexual as well as a binding rite or ritual. I have inquriers out to all the BDSM groups I'm a member of so that might help as well. like I said it would be more of a pagan rite I believe, but really not sure . so any information and possibly a web addy to go along would be great. also looking for where I might find a cermonial blade to preform the ritual as well, it would have to be a blade with a real edge because I plan on cutting the skin to draw the blood.
A Pagan blood ritual is any ritual that involves the intentional release of blood.

A common blood ritual is the blood brother ritual, which started in ancient Europe and Asia. Two or more people, typically male, intermingle their blood in some way. This ritualizes bringing the people together into one family in a symbolic way. Obviously this is an unsafe practice where blood-borne pathogens are concerned.

Body piercing can also be part of a blood ritual. Though piercing does not always cause bleeding, it certainly can. Piercing has been practiced in a number of indigenous cultures throughout the world, usually as a symbolic rite of passage, a symbolic death and rebirth, an initiation, or for reasons of magical protection.

Blood rituals often involve a symbolic death and rebirth, as literal bodily birth involves bleeding. Blood is typically seen as very powerful, and sometimes as unclean. Blood sacrifice is sometimes considered by the practitioners of prayer, ritual magic, and spell casting to intensify the power of such activities. The Native American Sun Dance is usually accompanied by blood sacrifice.

Some blood rituals involve two or more parties cutting themselves or each other followed by consumption of blood. The participants may regard the release or consumption of blood as producing energy useful as a sexual, healing, or mental stimulus. In other cases, blood is a primary component as the sacrifice, or material component for a spell. In the Christian tradition, for instance, the blood of Jesus Christ was required for mankind to remove sin.
UK pornography law, what idiot writes this stuff?
In my understanding the reason for making guy porn illegal is that each image of guy pornography is an image of guy abuse.

Now, can someone please explain why 6 months ago when both me and my girlfriend were 17 we couldn't have sex on camera without breaking guy pornography laws.

How about the recent move to criminalize loli and shota Manga?

Hell, move away from the guy area, explain why i can be arrested for possessing "obscene" (The dictionary definition, not legal definition) porn, i can participate in it and keep a copy, but if i were to film someone else engaging in consensual activity of a BDSM nature i can be put in jail.

Is there any hint of logic behind these laws?
Or is the uk government still following post hoc ergo propter hoc fallacy such as "people who are mentally ill, either pedophiles or rapists are made so by pornography and artistic drawings representing these acts, they don't look for these drawing because of their illness, they become mentally ill because of this" (and or the same for people who just want control rather than are sexually excited by this.)
You're quite right. Most laws regarding porn are pretty illogical, full of holes, and very alarmist.

The only way I can explain it is that people don't understand sexuality, and the government is trying to win over voters (who are understandably frightened of guy porn and violent attackers) by passing this legislation. Action, even if it's stupid action, at least sends more of a statement than inaction, which denotes at best apathy and at worst inefficiency.

It's politics, my friend, and sometimes- just sometimes- a misguided attempt to make the world safer.

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