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Question for people who can enjoy humor?
Which would you rather be a raccon or a coon with a nice rack?……

Which would you rather have? A klondike bar or a dyke who passed the bar?…

If you are too anal to answer this, then don't! Question is for commical purposes only
coon and klondike. so yummy
I think I may be in serious trouble? Any advice please?
Basically, I've been having sex with my best friends mom.
I am 20 and she is 40. I've been seeing her several times a week when my friend was not home.
Then, today, he walked in on me having anal sex with her!
He ran outside and smashed up my car that was parked in the driveway, with a metal baseball bat, completely smashing the windshield and all windows, and denting all the doors and the hood!
My insurance broker estimates the cost of damage to be in excess of $7,500!!!
This car, BMW, was inherited from my uncle!!!
He tried to hit me in the head with the bat, but I was lucky to be able to quicly escape in my car!

Before say a 40 year old mom is disgusting, take a look at this photo of her, and say you wouldn't want to have a go at her. She is divorced BY THE WAY!!!
Where is she at? Have a pic of her in a bikini? I want her to ride me! Um, but seriously, I really can't blame your friend though, seriously, your friends mom rode you hard! Your friend caught her riding you, um, I think your friend is not your friend anymore. But, have you thought of how badly your ex-friend is feeling, how humiliated he feels now? I'm like DUUUDE! No Go!
tell me true: if you thought you were pretty enough and feminine enough to model, would you be insulted to have a male homosexual and transvestie be the last word, judge and jury, as to your chances of sucess in the modelling business, as Tyra Banks allows her sidekicks to do, on her Top Model show?

Don't you find it a bit odd: that as female, you need to be coached, and criticized, and judged, by some guy whose envy of you leads him to dress in your gender's clothes, and unsucessfully try to affect your gender's mannerisms? Were not your dreams initially centered around being a highly attractive women,who attracted highly attractive males?

Does it bother you, that modelling and models are downplayed in the male psyche, cuz its NOT seen as a gallery of eye candy,for guys to drool over, but some pansy affair, with some cute chicks and swishy guys...

Do you find it insulting that a transvestite thinks the ideal of femininity is someone with ashy lips, five o'clock shadow, an awkwardly exaggarated gait, and the distinct scent of fecal matter on their person??? did i forget the thick , sticky mouthed lisp, and penchant for anal sex??

is that how you see yourselves? if so, i'll modify my approach.
That is a whole lot of presumptions on your part.
1. Models don't ultimately choose that profession because they are looking to be the most attractive and/or seeking the most attractive male. Have you seen models and/or who they choose as a partner lately? You will notice that models do not tend to be conventionally beautiful and neither do many of their spouses.
2. What is gender specific clothes but for our society deciding what each sex should wear? What about the Scottish men in skirts? Most still consider themselves heterosexual.
3. Transvestites and/or homosexual men in the fashion world are often there for just that: they enjoy FASHION. They also enjoy how the material falls off the models bodies and seek models who know how to wear fashion just right and walk perfectly to show them off properly.
Should I break it off with the girlfriend?

Ok, I will try to keep this simple. But really, what relationship is simple? My girlfriend and I have been together since August (8 months) living together for the last 6 months. I am 27 oldest of two brothers. She is 22, only guy. I have never invited anyone to live with me before. I have had several serious relationships in my life, many of them over a year, a few over two years. I believe I am her first serious relationship.

I love her dearly, and she is mad for me. We respect eachother and treat eachother as equals. We get along fine and rarely fight. We have the same dark and sarcastic sense of humor and share a multitude of interests.

But there are things about her which really bother me. I have tried hinting that these issues bother me, tried positive reinforcement to nudge her away from the habits that annoy me, and nothing seems to change.

examples - I am unemployed / freelance right now and I don't have a lot of real work coming in. To compensate for my lack of money coming in I try to take care of things around the house when I have nothing to do all day - laundry, dishes, sweeping up, feeding the cat, taking out the trash, etc. I'm even adding a serving island and new upper cabinets to the kitchen. I do all this and more, and she never seems to want to clean anything. I had to force her to wash ONE SINKFULL of dishes tonight, after I spent the whole day cleaning the yard and basement.

She also leaves her stuff in my way all the time. I find letters, handbags, misc crap on my desk. She leaves her shoes in the hall and I trip over them in the dark. She leaves her teacups all over the bedroom and never brings them to the kitchen when she is done with them.

She doesn't seem to hold personal hygeine in as high regard as I do. I might be a little too anal when it comes to this issue... But I think it's important to make sure your breath doesn't smell like a ditch BEFORE you try and kiss someone. She bathes every other day, her hair is kinda like steel wool.

I know this is getting kinda shallow here, but, lets face it, looks are something. They aren't everything, but they are important to a certain degree. Her personality is amazing, but lately I am finding myself less attracted to her physically, partially because of the hygene, partially because she has a little extra weight. Not a lot, but its there. She herself has mentioned feeling unhappy with her weight, but she never takes any steps to do anything about it. I don't expect she will either.

Also, she has this guyish way of grabbing at me, like a guy on a playground. She pinches at my nipples, grabs my junk and nibbles on my shoulder like a squirrel that found a cracker. All cute in the right context. But not when I am walking down the street, taking in a gallery opening, or trying to effing relax and watch effing Seaquest reruns on Netflix. There's a time and place for everything!

Geez, TMI already....

Point is, she is endearing, sweet, funny, and great to be around most of the time, but the little **** just keeps adding up. I worry that I am starting to stick around just to keep her happy, or maybe I am just too lazy to break up with her. I do love her, and I want to work these things out. But I'm worrying that I'm letting these things bother me more than before because I am starting to lose interest in her.

Am I just being shallow, or do I have legitimate grievances? Should I try to get her to change what bothers me, or consider it a lost cause and end it now, before she really gets hurt?

Just confront her about it.
but he as nice as possible, if she really loves you she wont get all dramatic and she will probably attempt to make a change in what she does.
How big does a red empress need to be before you can tell it is a male or female?
I have 2 red empress' but not sure if they are male or female. They both look like juveniles, but the larger one is between 3-4" and is starting to get orangish looking spots in its dorsal fin, anal fin, and tail fin. Is that one a male? The smaller one which is about 2-3" doesn't have any coloring. Looks like a plain juvenile. Here is a link of what a red empress looks like steve… 35 yr exp doubt it if you dont know what a red empress is.
The color on the young juvenile males will turn reddish brown in color. Sounds like you have one male for sure. The others might be still to young to tell. 35yr exp
Should I switch to this barn?
So right now I am at a barn where I am not really comfortable.
You can read her background on there also.
I like the trainer but she is just so anal about everything that it makes me mad. I just can't stand it. She is really experienced it's just she can be a b****! It annoys me. The place is 30 min away from me and I feel if I am to lease a horse my mom doesn't want me driving that far a lot.
Pro's: Organized, Clean, experienced trainer
Con's: far, small, trainer:rude most of the time, not many horses.
One lesson $50
I pay $180 for 4 lessons a month

I found this place online
I haven't been to the place yet but it seems nice. If you look at the picture gallery those pictures are her new barn. It is 10 min away from me! Perfect! She seems nice. She has 5 horses and pony's, awesome more than my other trainer. The place also looks nice although she doesn't look like she has a dressage ring but she does have a jumping one which is what I am more interested in. I hope to meet with her and talk to her more about her place. She doesn't do lesson packages so it is $50 per lesson. You can also check her background online also.

I want to have fun! I know people are telling me to toughen up and she might be more helpful than a nice trainer but I just can't handle the yelling. I don't focus well when being yelled at and I get nervous which is bad when riding because the horse can feel my nervousness:/ What should I do?
I would Switch to wherever you feel most comfortable. Go to the other barn, and talk to the trainer. I started riding at a barn where I was yelled at whenever I made the tiniest mistake, and I was honestly not doing very well there. I switched to a barn with a better atmosphere and I went from hardly jumping cross rails to jumping almost three feet in less than a year. The experience of a barn really makes a difference.

I would ask around locally to find out which barn around you has the best reputation. Both barns seem to have excellent equitation and jumping skills, just from looking at pictures. I would definitely try out the second one for a couple of weeks after you get the lessons you've already paid for at the first barn.

Looking around the sites more, I would pick the second barn. The facilities look much nicer.

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